Taco vs. Nothing

South Texas cuisine is fattening me up. I've noticed it recently, and I have to put a stop to it. Tacos are so good, though. It won't be easy. It was very easy to maintain an active lifestyle and lean diet in Japan. It will require some effort here.

I don't have a plan, and this does not bode well.

Today I'm doing some cursory research for a speech about nothing. It should be compelling and persuasive, personal and authoritative, and accomplish absolutely naught. Perhaps I should look into the theater of politics, but instead I am delving into philosophy, and my favorite--quantum physics. Lots to take out of context there.

Living in the suburbs again, I am constantly feeling trapped. There is time to wander and think, but nothing to see or contemplate. I end up back where I begin, which is usually a kind of deep yearning, for which any number of daily displeasures will do: very often, I find myself puzzling over whether or not there is anything I can do or say to reestablish contact with an old friend of mine, long since disappeared. If I press the issue, it will likely do no good. If I let things sit, there would be no impetus to reconnect. I usually come down on the side of thinking there is nothing here to be done. That I will simply have to wait and see. A wait that may take a lifetime and come to nothing. But as often as I decide on futility, I cannot ignore that I will always have hope. There was a reason our connection was so strong, and there was enough positive there to be salvaged somehow, in whatever way forward, however undefined. And I can only think that no matter what may or may not occur, I can resolve to think of myself as being a friend, of hoping for this life's richness in my friend's days, all of them, and that perhaps we will find a space somewhere to share a sincerity again with one another.

Anyway, I miss my friend.

This, when my brain is allowed to spin at the rate of the earth, without stopping to take in some new thing.

I have nothing to write about, best get to it.